All parents hope to help their children achieve in life and as such, we may rush our kids into things that neither of us is exactly ready for... Exhibit A in Charlotte's young life shall henceforth be known as the night several weeks ago that mommy and daddy trotted out the Bumbo Baby Seat -- the blue foam chair that brings out the double chin in our young daughter.

Kate and I were overwhelmed by the sight of slump-a-saurus sitting upright, courtesy of the molded chair and neck support that rivals a middle linebacker's spine protectors. The baby simply sat and mentally projected the word, "Really," over and over. Cut to a few weeks later and we're now in negotations as to when the high chair will be assembled by daddy, before being disassembled and put together properly by mommy.

It feels like we should have made a small sign with the date and Kate's age, but this is the photo of Mommy's first day back to work. And just like Eddie Murphy, we have begun our own little version of Daddy Daycare here in Kansas City. Charlotte and I wore matching pink cardigans to celebrate the occasion.

The Three Bears were dismayed to come home and find that someone had been sleeping in their bed. But real life is a lot more complicated than fairy tales. When we brought Charlotte home the other night, we discovered that a rather large cat was sleeping in her fuzzy lamb chair.

To her credit, the baby seemed to take the event quite well. Houdini, too fat to jump up and run away through the woods, merely stretched, turned upside down, and resumed sleeping in the lamb chair. The cat awoke and demanded large amounts of porridge, shortly thereafter. The baby, despite not knowing what porridge is, later joined in the feline union's demands with a sympathy strike that consisted of incoherent babbling and a bit of confused yelling.

A hoodie is an important article of clothing in the Bender household. Most days finds me in one of two hoodies -- one an homage to Halifax, the other says Burton Trucking -- the only trucking company capable of handling a supernatural battle in Chinatown.

Kate regularly dons her hoodie with the words Benderphone across the zipper -- an acknowledgment of The Boston Globe's decision to print her letter to the editor, inexplicably with the word phone attached to our last name. It was funny, but you may have had to be there. It is how my wife is known in the North End though, ahhh...Mrs. Benderphone, so nice to see you.

As such, we were determined to get the baby in a hoodie as soon as possible. For now, she is in a neutral hoodie -- emblematic of her lack of a favorite movie or notable letter to the editor. She has sent in several screeds to the Kansas City Star -- but they have wisely chosen not to print them, seeing as they are the incoherent babble of a baby which is likely the same thing as libel.

So, for now, Charlotte will have to be content with a sloganless hoodie and a passing resemblance to Elliott in E.T.

As for the above photo, a few answers to the questions you'll obviously have:

(1) Yes, our daughter would make a lovely addition to a classic movie requiring the actresses to wear bathing caps.

(2) The flash of a camera continues to be surprising to her, perhaps she is merely surprised that her father continues to take pictures that are mostly in focus.

(3) And just as it would appear, she is hiding a beehive hairdo beneath that cap.

It has been a week of unfortunate hair choices. Every six months or so, I make a grand attempt to discover if this will be the year that a beard successfully grows in. And each year, I discover that this was a poor idea, usually long after it has become apparent to the outside world that it would be a good idea to give up the goatee.

But if my judgment is questionable, you have to wonder about Kate -- who assigned me the task of brushing the baby's hair after a recent bath. As Kate picked a sleeper out of the closet, I set to work on styling Charlotte's hairdo. Naturally, I decided that I couldn't fight nature. Charlotte's hair has a tendency to stick up comically in back, so I was curious if it could be made to stick up in front as well.

And that is how you end up with a baby faux-hawk for two days.

We decided to pool our resources this year and focus on one sweet costume for the three of us. We drew straws and Charlotte ended up with the smallest straw (she did lodge a formal protest, seeing as she is not quite capable of grabbing and holding straws yet), meaning she would have to dress up -- which is lucky because although the costume is adorable, I've never looked good in horizontal red stripes.

Kate had the inspired design idea to make jagged sleeves on the onesie. I have since cut the sleeves on the rest of Charlotte's onesies as I think it will make her look like a tougher baby. She smiles too much to be intimidating. But a smiling baby in jagged sleeves, you're basically an enforcer like Rocky Balboa.

Below is what happens when a pirate discovers their nose. It's a new development here in the Bender household and based on the concentration devoted to keeping track of the nose, there is apparently some concern on Charlotte's part that the nose will be leaving the building. So far it appears to be attached well, but Kate and I will add it to our list of concerns and maintenance checks as the baby's super.